not to be a history fucker on main but the whole mystery of the lost colony of roanoke is so fucking funny
governor of the colony: hey I’m gonna go back to england to get more supplies
115 colonists: okay
governor: ends up spending 3 years in england bc of a naval war with spain or some shit
governor: gets back to the colony to find everyone gone
governer: sees the word “croatoan”, the name of a native american tribe, carved into a post
croatoan tribe: has members and children with blonde hair/blue eyes, pale skin
everyone: what could have happened to the colonists of roanoke
racism is a hell of a drug
governor: I can’t believe my colony died
roanoke folks: actually these really nice people took us in? we left you a note about that? so please stop telling everyone we’re dead?
governor: Sometimes I Can Still Hear Their Voices
Some of those suspiciously mixed-looking Croatoan tribes-people were even still using the surnames of the Roanoke colonists! The degree to which ‘The Mystery of Roanoke’ is NOT EVEN SLIGHTLY MYSTERIOUS is fucking ridiculous! As an out-and-proud history fucker, I cannot tell you how mad I was when I decided to look into this ~super tantalising mystery~ only to find that it’s so dumb. It’s so dumb, guys.
some of them literally said “we are the descendants of the roanoke colonists”